What is needed for the building up of a sense of family is that the adults get along with the jobs that need doing neither obliging the children to join in, nor excluding them from the process. If this is done and children know you will take time to help them join in when they show a desire to do so, they will naturally want to volunteer and can be given tasks suited to their age and ability. In this way children not only learn practical skills but something far more important; that they are a valued , confident and useful member of the household, that they truly belong. In other words that where they live truly is their home.  “To spread out carpets and roll them up after they have been used, to spread a tablecloth for dinner and to fold it up and replace it carefully after the meal is finished, to set the table completely, to eat correctly and afterwards to remove the dishes and wash them, placing each object in its proper place in the cupboard, are tasks which not only require increasing skills but also a gradual development of character because of the patience necessary for their execution and sense of responsibility for their successful accomplishment. “ (Discovery of the Child by Maria Montessori p64) A 4 year old will exclaim proudly to a visitor “I cleaned out the paddling pool!” Jean Liedloff explains how this is the approach adopted in traditional communities from time immemorial… Families who instead get in a cleaner or who delegate the organisation of the household exclusively to one member of the family lose a golden opportunity to build a sense of family, of belonging, of home.